The Miracle of Getting My Kids to School on Time

 

I honestly don't know how I get three kids to school on time, every single morning, five days a week. Granted, I barely get them there before the bell rings, but they get there.

And it feels like a miracle. 

All of the directions I must spew from 7-8am is absolutely ridiculous- not to mention the stress-inducing chemicals wreaking havoc on my overall health. 

Every morning I attempt to infuse my system with caffeinated super powers and the emotional resolve required to face the chaos, but I still reach a point where I think I'm not going to make it. 

That's why it's amazing that we do.

This happens every morning. The repeating, reminding, and remembering. The fixing, feeding, and forgetting. 

Doing it all over and over again is something like insanity, and yet it's the nature of my job. And it's very important. And I keep doing it- hoping, of course, that after the last backpack walks into the last classroom, I will sink back into some quiet and finally eat some breakfast.

No matter how the day goes or how I feel about it, the truth is that I'm thankful for the supernatural help Jesus gives me to keep going. I suspect that it's more Him than the coffee that gets me through the crazy morning hustle.

Lamentations 3:22-23:

"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail. 

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness. "

My New Vacuum: A Funny Thing to Get So Excited About

The other day, a mom friend and I decided to venture out to Target together. This was a genius plan, by the way, and I am really considering a repeat performance. Our little guys sat in one cart together playing on our phones, while I pushed another cart with our purchases. We chatted as we searched for items and helped one another make the best choice of non-leaking water bottles for the kids.

When my shopping partner stated that she needed to replace her mini-vacuum, I was like, "I've been wanting one of those for ages!  Will you show me which one you like?" 

After we found our new cordless cleaning devices, I couldn't contain my excitement (is this how guys feel about their tools?).  I told her that I couldn't wait to charge my handheld vac and start cleaning out the snack crumbs in my van!  

My fellow mom laughingly replied, "I know!  Me too!  How lame are we?"

And for a second, I paused.  I considered her statement.

At the end of the checkout line, we ventured to the in-store Starbucks for a rainy afternoon treat, and I thought, We aren't lame.  

I wondered how many times I too have uttered similar self-deprecating words- making fun of myself?  As if all the small things I experience in the life of a stay-at-home mom are not things to be grateful for. While having a sense of humor is imperative in the life of a mom, hearing the joke come out of someone else's mouth made me realize that we may be looking at our present circumstances all wrong. 

I get it.  I do.  It seems silly to revel in such ordinary things.  Who in the world does cartwheels over a new vacuum? Not many, I'm sure. But finding a spark of joy in our day is not something to belittle.

Do you know what motherhood has taught me?  Of the many lessons, I have learned to appreciate minute moments and unexpected gifts.  I am so thankful for breaks in the mundane and appliances that make my life easier. Being a mom has changed me and how I view so many things: what hard work it is raising children and managing a household.  You have to be positive and grateful as often as possible in order to maintain a good attitude.  Because let's be honest, the other residents in your family circle can be downright grumps and leave trails of clutter wherever they roam.

Let's be proud of every day we DO this!  And keep noticing the things that add value to our lives. When we find ourselves laughing away a simple pleasure, let's remember that God has given us this season to really SEE what is good and noteworthy.

A thankful heart is a happy heart. -VeggieTales

For people who can't understand my excitement over a lightweight, portable vacuum, it's probable that they've done very little lugging around of cleaning equipment, or haven't spent much of their existence riding in a vehicle whose inhabitants treat it like a trash can.

My van is going to be so CLEAN.

What simple thing do you appreciate today?

When You Feel Like You're Not Doing Enough

I read the email too late.  After I parked the van at my son's preschool, I quickly scrolled my messages before walking him in.  My inbox held a request for more parents to volunteer at the music fundraiser before school.  Immediately, I felt that all too familiar drop in my spirit.  I hadn't been able to help out with that yet.

The lie I too often believe whispered, "You are not a good mom.  You don't help at the school enough.  What are the other moms going to think of you? You're failing."

Thankfully, with some practice, I've learned to shut down those negative thoughts when they arise (It seems like they never leave me alone). Because the truth is, I am not failing.

I just fed three kids breakfast, helped pick out all of their outfits, made sure teeth were brushed, hair was fixed, shoes were tied, and backpacks were zipped. Then, I buckled us in the car with enough time to pray for our days and walk them to the door, complete with hugs and goodbyes.  I did all of this before I read the email asking for more parental involvement.

I am doing enough, and I have to care less what other moms think of me.  I just have to. The measure of my success is the well-being of my family, not the tally marks for my community involvement.

So if you're with me in that place today, where you're still home with a little guy, and taking him anywhere is a slight risk to your sanity, please know that you are doing just fine.  You are taking care of your family.  You do not need to run yourself ragged proving your worth to anyone else in this world. 

And for yourself, remember that you are doing HUGE things!  It doesn't matter who sees them.

The One Thing I Know I'm Doing Right

My kids have been giving me a run for my money lately.  The bickering, talking back and arguing can really wear this girl down. I'm not sure if I'm handling misbehavior the right way.  I don't know if my speeches are getting through.  I wonder a lot of times if anything I do is working at all.

There are always question marks in the mom season. I know I'm doing one thing right though.  I'm here...being Mom.  

I haven't checked out yet, even when my thoughts are screaming, "Run away!  Let someone else deal with the hard stuff!"  I mean, I've definitely put in some time- ten years of lessons in manners and picking up your messes. It is tempting to take a much-deserved vacation, like every week! Some people would possibly understand if I escaped into a hobby, another job, a good book, or a few extra nights out with the girls to distract me from my children's endless requests and demands.  Those are all positive outlets and certainly provide a break when needed.  But they can't replace the reward of a race well run.

The one thing all mothers can be sure of is that we are doing a good thing when we invest our time and energy in the business of raising our kids. It's hard and not all that fun, but it's important.  And that keeps me going.

 Now is not the time to quit.  When the parenting gets tough, the tough get parenting!

And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.

So then, as occasion and opportunity open up to us, let us do good [morally] to all people [not only being useful or profitable to them, but also doing what is for their spiritual good and advantage]. Be mindful to be a blessing, especially to those of the household of faith [those who belong to God’s family with you, the believers]. -Galatians 6.9-10 (AMP)

Be Brave and See What Happens

I'm going to admit a fear I've been battling lately.  Actually, there's more than one dragon I'm swinging a sword at, but it comes down to the fact that I've just been scared.  It really isn't anything major except that, any sort of fear (rational or irrational) always holds us back.  It limits our potential and impact on the world. So if I'm going to make my mark, I have to face the enemies.

1. I have been afraid of failing. So I don't try.
2. I worry about what others think. So I withdraw.

I told you these weren't gigantic monsters. Possibly, you've had the same insecurities as well (which  would come as a relief to me).  Living in fear, isolates you and I.  It causes us to close the curtains and hide. Just sharing your worries with someone else, can weaken the scary stuff and build yourself a team of support.

For a writer, fears limit my willingness to say what I want to say.  I'm a wiz at over-analyzing the outcome.  Will the words make sense?   Did that sound stupid?  Does anyone hear me? Quickly following, are the self-doubting thoughts: Why would anyone read this?  Hasn't everything that needs to be said, been said already?

Mom friends, have you feared that your current method of parenting isn't the right one?  I too have worried about that.  Are you also afraid of making your kids mad at you or not measuring up in the eyes of other moms?  Me too, sometimes. The danger is falling into the "forget-it-I-can't-win" mentality. This is a terrible loss for our families and for ourselves!

In everyday interactions, fears can effect our relationships too.  I may not speak up when I have a good idea. You may not reply when someone offends you.  Opportunities are missed when we stay silent and friendships suffer when we aren't vulnerable. Tucking away seems safer, but it's the opposite of living an awesome life.

So, in my quest to BE this year, the first challenge I accept is to BE BRAVE! I hereby choose to no longer be afraid of what MAY happen and let the fear of unknown possibilities paralyze me.  Doing nothing will accomplish...nothing. 

I hope you can muster up some courage to take down a few of your own insecurities. Who cares what others think? Be your wonderful self and attempt your very best at what lies in front of you.  It may take a few whacks, but beating fear itself is always a win!

I'm praying for me and for you.  I can't wait to see what happens :-)

Just BE.

I'm still alive. I am.

As always, this era of motherhood, this life of a mom, swirls in, out, with, and around me like the seasons- with change and comfort, busy and rest, new and old.  The holidays of back-to-back hosting and list-checking kept me from writing for a spell.  But I maintained a sense of peace throughout by inwardly processing all the things I was thankful for.  Making mental blog titles and journal entries to re-start when I felt ready. When I could sit down again.

To prepare myself for another new season, I have been praying and thinking on what I will look like in the coming months. What will my work accomplish?  How will I grow?  What does God want to teach me?

In recent conversations with two friends, I was spurred on in my quest to establish a theme for myself this year.  In one word, how could I begin 2014 with purpose? Was it PEACE I craved?  Sure, but that wasn't the heart of my prayers.  Was it JOY or HEALTH or SUCCESS?  All of those things would be wonderfully welcome, but I couldn't settle on the one thing I longed to meditate on.

As I journaled one morning, the pen established my thoughts, "I need to be..."  And then it stopped.  There.  In cursive lowercase letters, I found it.  I wrote it again, but this time in capitals, "BE."  With punctuation.

I texted my friend with this new revelation, "I just want to BE.  Not strive. Not stress.  Not whine or wish.  Just BE!  Be present. Be in the Spirit.  Be me..."

And so I continue reflecting on that single verb.  It will probably appear in future posts and status updates as I ponder more on what it means to BE. I'm looking up verses like, "Be still and know..." or "Be strong and courageous..."

And now that my fingertips are back to hitting the keys, I know also that it's good to be back. :-)

What is your word for the year? 

I Knew I Was Going to Need More Patience

It just isn't possible.  To be patient for all of those 14 or so daily hours with the kids asking me questions, ignoring mine, forgetting things, and telling me what they think.  Alone, I can't. 

 As I faced three days manning the house while my husband was on a work trip, I prepped myself for the endless demands.  The pressure starts to get to me, and I can imagine a version of this mom hyperventilating or running away.  It's a lot to handle by myself.  On my own, I get tired.  I run out of patience and hear my responses snap like dry twigs. It seems like there is no respite, always being on the clock.

And then Jesus said "Remain in me." I kept repeating it to myself.  Choosing to let go of anxiety and step forward one scenario at a time, peace followed me.  I didn't allow my mind to race ahead to everything I had to do.  I resisted the urge to freak out over every misstep.  "Remain in me," He reminded me. I made my focus on what was possible in Jesus, not on all the ways I could fail.

  

Because of course I will fail.  I will forget to send in the lunch money or that it was pajama day. I will feel guilty for not reading bedtime stories for at least 20 minutes.  I will lose my cool when any one of my children talk back to me like they know better. Apart from Him, I can swim around in all kinds of inadequacy. But I don't have to.

The "fruits" are there on the Vine begging us to take what we need: more love, more peace, more patience, more gentleness, more self-control (Galatians 5:22-13).  There will be times when we do need an extra pair of hands, a little help around the house.  It's wonderful when we have a teammate that we can count on. But for those days when we don't have someone nearby to pass the ball to, there is more than enough patience to get us through. 

 Remain in me, 

as I also remain in you.

No branch can bear fruit by itself; 

it must remain in the vine. 

Neither can you bear fruit 

unless you remain in me.

I am the vine; 

you are the branches. 

If you remain in me 

and I in you, 

you will bear much fruit; 

apart from me 

you can do nothing.

But Who's Going to be MY Cheerleader?

In middle school and high school, I cheered for several basketball and football games.  The camaraderie of the team and the rush of being part of something exciting were always thrilling to me.  Later, when my daughter was in elementary school and wanted to join cheerleading, I became her coach for a few years.  Then, it was the joy of teaching little girls how to memorize dozens of cheers and seeing them shine on the field performing much rehearsed routines that called me.  The confidence and friendships they earned from weeks of working together brought me back every week.  I loved it.

As a parent, I continue to cheer for my kids and my family, with or without the pom poms and uniforms.  When my son or daughter scores a goal or nails a routine, I'm out of my chair screaming for them!  When they bring home that classroom award or good grade from school, I'm patting them on their backs and bragging on them at the dinner table.  When they remember their manners or offer to help Mom around the house, I'm throwing all kinds of "Great job!" "Way to go!" "You're awesome!" phrases in the air.  Whether they show it or not, I know it is important for them to hear that encouragement as often as I supply it.

But what about me?  Who cheers for Mommy when I finally fold and put away that mountain of laundry that everyone notices but no one attempts to move. Where are all the "Atta girls!" when I manage to conjure up three meals a day that every family member approves of?  What about the rides, and the homework help, and the things I remember for everyone every day?  Who's going to be MY cheerleader?

It's been said over and over again, that the job of Mother is a thankless one.  Once a year, in the spring, our families rustle up some sweet gifts and cards to tell us we're loved and appreciated, but on a day-to-day basis, we keep doing things for others without much recognition.  There are times that someone remembers to say, "Thank you."  But unfortunately, even the little ones get preoccupied in their own work and play that it's more often that they forget to notice.

They forget because you're always there.  It's easy to take a thing or a person for granted when the house is running smoothly.  We keep up with the calendar and the dishes.  If the mom drops the ball, that's when we are more likely to get noticed. And that's not usually the kind of attention we want, is it? 

We just can't expect chants and cheers for every mission accomplished- at least not from the people around us.

Our cheer section is a whole heaven full of angels. We ARE noticed. As many times as I recognize the inattention from my family, I, myself, should also see how often I forget to focus on what is true. Our goal is to do the work God has called us to do, even when we are not receiving any accolades.  The encouragement is knowing that we don't have to go it alone and we are doing a great work! 

HERE ARE SOME "GO, MOM!" CHEERS FOR YOU TODAY:

Zephaniah 3:17 (GW)- "The Lord your  God is with you. He is a hero who saves you. He happily rejoices over you, renews you with his love, and celebrates over you with shouts of joy."

Hebrews 12:1-4 (MSG)- ...all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit!...

(NIV) Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus...

A Little Progress is Still Progress

Are you like me? Instead of seeing progress, I focus on what hasn't been done yet.  

Do you see any of your accomplishments at all, or do you only see the uncrossed items on your checklist? 
I don't know about you, but that viewpoint causes me to become overwhelmed and discouraged. It makes me stuck- like I'm trying to run a race in quicksand.

So today, I offer you a few little mantras to remind yourself whenever the tasks bog you down:

Have a mantra of your own?  

Comment below and share it!

Mark the Moment or You Will Miss It

This is a season of fog: the work of raising human beings. Of mustering through, barely making it, wondering if you are going in the right direction.  You are driving without a map, hoping you gather all of your chicks and bring them safely to their scheduled destiny. 

While you fret about each decision and question your methods, your children keep moving ahead and growing up.  You can hardly find a piece of shade to take a breather and think about the next step.  They keep on going.  You chase them, grab their little hands, tell them to slow down and "Look both ways!"

If you're honest, when you're tired, you daydream of brief respites from all of this traveling.  You just want a soft pillow and quiet place to not worry, not to be responsible for so much.  All of the problem-solving sends you crashing to bed and simultaneously shakes you awake earlier than you wish.

You want to be less relied on at times.  You stretch your arms up for a dose of independence.  Freedom.  

You roll your eyes and hold your tongue when a well-meaning mother tells you, "Enjoy them while you can.  They grow up so fast!"  It doesn't feel fast to you, your feet always dragging.  HOW much further to the finish line?!

This is my toddler refusing to hold my hand to cross the street.  Mr. Big Britches.

It will happen though. You WILL arrive.  

One day you will no longer wake up every 2-4 hours for feedings. You won't strain every ounce of your creativity packing exciting school lunches.  It will not be necessary to check that everyone has what they need in their backpacks, diaper bags, suitcases, and sports duffel. 

What you thought would never end? One day it will.

Then you will be the woman tempted to tell a young, new mom, "Cherish that little one now, because they grow up so fast!" 

But for now, to get you through a season that takes longer than just some leaves to change colors, let's make mental pictures of the bright breaks in the weather.  Don't wait for later to see what is right in front of you now.

Stop and mark the moment.  

• When you notice him sweetly taking your hand without you asking him to.  

• When his sense of style is confidently wearing mismatched shoes to school.  

• The face that lights up when you pick her up from preschool.  

• The Barbies, the trains, the Legos, the markers, the crayons, and the smell of Play Doh. 

Caught! Same toddler hold my hand just because.  One of my moments.

For just a collection of seconds, forget the shoes by the door and the stain on the couch. 
Mark the moment...the morsel of a time that you will one day miss.

If you're in the mom season, post a comment below, share your moment on twitter or anywhere in your social network and tell us what your little piece of sunshine was today.  #markthemoment

The "I Did It" List: You've Accomplished More Than You Think Today

In this season of endless household duties, it often feels like nothing is ever done. My "To Do" list keeps multiplying faster than I can cross something off.  On the days when it seems like I am never going to get ahead, I hit reverse and try something different.

With a pen and a blank piece of paper, I write down each task I complete, no matter how small.  
It's my way of visually reminding myself of everything I have accomplished, so I don't get overwhelmed by everything that's left to do.

Do you see how the simplest things add up?  Each small task helps this house run a little smoother and attests to everything moms do to keep their family happy. So next time someone asks you, "What did you do today?" you can hold up the proof and say, "All this!" instead of staring blankly in reply.  

Why don't you make your own "I Did It" list today!  See how awesome you really are :-)

Toys: Sentimental Things and Memories that Matter

I am a sentimental person.  Things represent memories to me, and it takes a passage of time to separate the nostalgia from the stuff. The stuff is not as important as the memories made, I have to remind myself.  I have gotten better at letting go of the things over the years, as I remember that I can still retain those memories without them.

So it is time to purge again. Clean out the extra and simplify. It's essential to a mom's survival- letting go of the old and moving on with the new.  With every move and changing seasons with the kids, I have to assess the toys our family has accumulated- especially since we're moving into a smaller house.

We have almost always had a play space dedicated just for their collections, which means that a lot of colorful, inanimate objects sit on display there- sometimes untouched for weeks, months. Because the toys do not play with my kids, but wait for someone to manipulate their moving parts and breathe imaginary life into their stationary existence.  Our kids figure out very quickly that those things will not make them happy, because they are unable to play back.  It's the friends and family who make playing fun and create memories that matter- not toys.  No wonder kids are so quickly bored with their stuff. 

And yet, they have an equally hard time saying goodbye to the things that they own.  I believe their struggle lies more in how they view their relationship with their toys- is their identity wrapped up in the things they possess?  Does more stuff mean that you are more important in the eyes of others?  Does is represent your worth?  Making attachments to things means that a deeper need is probably not being met- a need for love. By showing our children that material things cannot provide true contentment and often tempt us away from relationships that truly matter, we're saving them some heartache in the future- and possibly terrible spending habits.

It doesn't mean that I struggle any less with buying the lie that purchasing shiny new objects will make my kids happy.  The TV shouts it at us all the time.  I joke with my three children every time Christmas rolls around and they see the barrage of toy commercials hitting the air waves: "Do you want that for Christmas?  That's what they want you to do.  Don't even think about."

It's true what they say, Stuff doesn't make you happy, and Money can't buy you love.
Let's remember today that time is more precious than the things that we own.  That is what our kids will remember the most.  Toys never reciprocate love, but you can.

Do you have any encouragement or words of wisdom for others that have trouble letting go of things?  Share!

 

A New Home and More Changes

So the cat's already out of the bag on facebook, but I haven't made it blog-official until now.  Our family just bought a house!

After about seven months renting in a new city, we have finally found a place to settle.  While this move won't be as gigantic as the last one, it still involves another round of changes.  We'll have to learn our way around a different side of town.  The kids will start another school in the fall.  Then, there's a new house to furnish and decorate and unknown neighbors to meet.

While our family packs up and loads boxes, picks out new furniture, and sells stuff we don't need anymore, I'm also renovating this blog! It was past time for a new look. The changes will be gradual, as this mommy only has so many hours to sit down undisturbed.   
But the first bit of blog news is that we have an official title: The Mom Season.

I have been blogging for about nine years.  It has always been cathartic for me, and I have been blessed to meet other moms in the blogosphere that I still keep up with today.  Over the past year or two, I have felt the nudge to bring a clearer focus to my posts.  A writing professor once told me to "Write what you know," so I have found that what I care and know about is what it feels like to live, love, and struggle through this season of being a mom.  I had no idea what I was getting into when I had my firstborn, and I'm still learning with ever new developmental stage.  Not only do I mark their accomplishments over time, but I sense my own growth during this parenting process.

So The Mom Season blog will be all about encouraging other moms in their own journey of motherhood and sharing honest stories of what life is like- the sparkly, rainbow moments and the ugly, I-wanna-start-over days.

* * * * * To celebrate all things new around here, I will be hosting a blog warming party in the next month.  While I share pictures of our new home, I will also be announcing changes related to the blog.  And there will be giveaways from some creative friends of mine!  Stay tuned.... * * * * *

I Cannot Do it All

Busy mom, full life.

After a week of losing myself in nursing a sick boy back to health, my brain got bogged down with life events that delay certain aspirations (like blogging).  As a mom, I find myself here a lot.  I'm dying to get a haircut and a pedicure, but I'm limited on hours sans kids- and there are still soccer practices, dishes, laundry, and homework. I slept through precious early morning quiet times, because I was physically drained.  I napped through writing hours, because I was trying to catch up.

And then I remembered, I CANNOT DO IT ALL AT ONCE.  Calm down, Dani.  You will get it all done eventually.  Pace, yourself.  There are children to take care of and dinners to cook, and those are as important as everything on your to-do list.

So when I recently read an article in which Drew Barrymore declares that women can't have it all, I was like, "THANK YOU!" Of all the voices, a successful Hollywood actress who probably has every resource available to make the rest of us believe that she can do it all, admits that it isn't possible.  You can only focus so much time and energy into a few things to do them well.  If you throw yourself into your career, you will definitely become an expert at what you do and make strides towards titles and pay raises.  If you spend time honing your craft or practicing your hobby, you will become better at it.  If you choose to invest most of your energy into raising kids and managing a home, you will build a strong family. 

Homework before soccer practice 3 afternoons/week.

Unfortunately, when you choose the latter, the successes are often quiet and invisible.  There aren't award ceremonies to celebrate the spelling test your daughter passed after you helped her study. You're not invited to banquets to announce the masterful job you did organizing the pantry.  But take note of those little moments when your kindergartener starts reading and the cookout you planned goes off without a hitch. Whenever your kids are singing on stage and making homemade cards for you, it makes your heart smile.  That is a wonderful feeling- better than any framed certificate on your wall.

It's okay to put off some tasks that you want to do, if it means that you're trading it for something better- time with your family and much needed rest.  You will get back to it.  You will conquer the cleaning soon. I will write again. Let's give ourselves grace, and take it one day- one bite-sized morsel at a time. 

I am admitting that I cannot do it all, but I can do one important thing today: I can be MOM. I can do that.
The other things can wait.

Without a Nursing Degree

This has been the scene at our house for the past three days.  A sad, feverish little guy sleeping the hours away. The doctor says it's another case of Strep.  The sick boy won't take his meds, so it looks like we're going to ride this one out...

This post is for all the moms out there who've nursed sick kids without a nursing degree. You deserve a license, a bonus, or something for the extra job of making your kids better.  Because you do miracles.

• You dab their heads with a cold wash cloth, when the fever won't go away.
• You patiently coax them with chocolate to take their yucky medicine and popsicles to take in more fluids.
• You make them laugh and let them watch movies or T.V. for as long as they're sick.
• You hardly sleep, because they started breathing weird and you wanted to make sure they were okay.
• You can't focus on anything else, because you're watching the clock and jotting down symptoms and the last time they had a dose of Tylenol.
• You Lysol anything little hands touch and open windows to air the germs out.
• You simultaneously manage to keep the other children entertained and away from the sick patient.
• You rub their backs, sing songs, pray, and tell them they'll be okay, even though you're completely stressed out watching them suffer. 
• You drop everything you're doing to nurse them back to health.

They're aren't degrees for parenting sick kids, but you do it. You demonstrate love in these times, and you're there. Your kids will remember that.
So even though you're tired and untrained, you're doing a great job.  Keep it up.

How do you cheer up your kids when they're sick?

You are not a failure!

I never got around to making that hand-stitched Valentine's Day garland for my fireplace.
I forgot  to cook green eggs and ham for Dr. Seuss' birthday.

I still haven't hung an Easter wreath on the door or plastic eggs in the tree in our front yard.

That's when the thought hit me: "I have FAILED." I mentally kick myself and hang my head in discouragement. 

Have any other moms felt that way?  Because we weren't the "hostess with the mostess" or didn't bake every dish from scratch, that we are not enough?

Wait.  Do we really go that far?  Do we, as moms, discount all of the good work we have done because there was something else that we didn't get to?  Not baking homemade four leaf clover cookies makes me a failure?!

It just isn't true.  All of that fun stuff that I sometimes manage to produce- ideas from Pinterest, holiday crafts, and so on, are just for fun.  They aren't really that important, are they?  Not anything major to lose sleep over, right?

Are the kids fed?  Bathed? Dressed?  Did they make it to school on time?  Did they get enough sleep?  Were you there when they cried to you in disappointment over not getting the school solo?  Did you watch and cheer when he kicked his first soccer goal?  Were you around to help them with that unsolvable math problem? Did you kiss them "Good night" and hug them "Good morning?"
 

If you did all of that and still got the dishes washed, then you WON!  You have succeeded in the ever-demanding role of mother.  You loved and you cared. That is far from failing.

Replicating the living room design you saw in home decor magazine can wait. 
Any time you spend on your family is something to be proud of.

Because God Said So!

You know what I love about God?  Okay, a lot of things.  But one of the parenting devices I often pull out of my Mom Tool Belt is the phrase,

"Hey, Jack!* God said it, not me."

Look at those sweet faces. How could they do anything wrong?

This works for the following scenarios:

• Your son keeps annoying his little brother, his little sister, and well, EVERYONE.  Mom response?  "God calls us to be KIND and LOVING (Colossians 3.12-14).  Were you being kind just now?" See?
• One of your kids just WILL NOT LISTEN.  Take from your tool box: "You are not obeying me.  Do you know who says you should obey your parents?  GOD does (Ephesians 6.1; Colossians 3.20)!" BAM.



This one doesn't like anything that's good for him.

• Your middle child won't eat his vegetables or decides that he would rather have something other than water to drink.  "Water is so good for you," I say.  "Tell me, who made the broccoli?" You've got it. God gets all the credit (Genesis 1)!

I am being somewhat smug with my Mommy quips, but the Bible does refer to God's words as weapons, "cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey. Nothing and no one is impervious to God’s Word. We can’t get away from it—no matter what (Hebrews 4.12)." So using God's written commands as a part of our parenting and discipline process, can only help build up our Mommy defenses.  He "protects you from every side (Psalm 139.5 CEV)." In other words, you tell those kids what is right, and God will back you up!

Bonus: Not only does allowing God to help enforce our family rules  take the stress off of us, but it somehow shuts down some of the talk-back factor too.  I mean, who can argue with GOD?!

In what parenting situations do you find strength in God's Word?

*Duck Dynasty fan reference.  Thank you, Uncle Si.

Disqualified by Comparison

Do you find yourself questioning your talents, your strengths?  Do you constantly downplay your abilities and success, just because they don't look the same as someone else's gifts?  I find myself often doubting my qualifications to be a mom, a small group leader, an artist, or writer.

 To make matters worse, I sometimes disqualify myself and am tempted to quit before I even begin.  Comparing our lives and successes to another person's status is ineffective.  First, it places the focus on becoming better than them, instead of working towards being the best you. We can also sink into an ugly habit of judging others, when our eyes are on what or how they’re doing.

But I am not them…and neither are you.  God made each of us different for a reason.

I imagine that He knew how much we needed each other.  When we combine all of those differences, we can do a lot of good.  My organized mom friends have given me so many ideas on how to run my household more effectively.  My working mom friends have taught me how to manage my time in better ways.  I have learned how to sew, how to pray, how to decorate, how to cook, how to put an outfit together, and more by hanging around women of different talents.

And yet, I still remain me- the person God created me to be. I have a singular story, a specific set of passions, and my own talents.  I have to remind myself of what I already have and all I can accomplish with the help of friends and the One who made me.   Then, underneath all the fear and uncertainties, I uncover a little bit of courage and confidence.

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

–Psalms 139.13-14

I am learning that no matter who we are, what we have, or what we do, we can ALL be a blessing to others. You fill a space in the world in a special way.  So get out there and do life like only you can do it. Don’t cut yourself short by trying to outdo someone else. It's just wasted time and energy.

God made you (and me) WONDERFUL.