Disqualified by Comparison

Do you find yourself questioning your talents, your strengths?  Do you constantly downplay your abilities and success, just because they don't look the same as someone else's gifts?  I find myself often doubting my qualifications to be a mom, a small group leader, an artist, or writer.

 To make matters worse, I sometimes disqualify myself and am tempted to quit before I even begin.  Comparing our lives and successes to another person's status is ineffective.  First, it places the focus on becoming better than them, instead of working towards being the best you. We can also sink into an ugly habit of judging others, when our eyes are on what or how they’re doing.

But I am not them…and neither are you.  God made each of us different for a reason.

I imagine that He knew how much we needed each other.  When we combine all of those differences, we can do a lot of good.  My organized mom friends have given me so many ideas on how to run my household more effectively.  My working mom friends have taught me how to manage my time in better ways.  I have learned how to sew, how to pray, how to decorate, how to cook, how to put an outfit together, and more by hanging around women of different talents.

And yet, I still remain me- the person God created me to be. I have a singular story, a specific set of passions, and my own talents.  I have to remind myself of what I already have and all I can accomplish with the help of friends and the One who made me.   Then, underneath all the fear and uncertainties, I uncover a little bit of courage and confidence.

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

–Psalms 139.13-14

I am learning that no matter who we are, what we have, or what we do, we can ALL be a blessing to others. You fill a space in the world in a special way.  So get out there and do life like only you can do it. Don’t cut yourself short by trying to outdo someone else. It's just wasted time and energy.

God made you (and me) WONDERFUL.

Non-magical Super Kid Powers

Remember when our parents would tell us that they had eyes in the back of their heads in an effort to creepily warn us that they were always watching?  For a brief time, we may have believed them, but we mostly obtained an awareness of our mom and dad's ability to find things out.  So maybe their actual super scary power was having the Truth Sense?

My own kids think that we periodically set up invisible alarm systems in the upstairs hallway that will alert us when they leave their bedroom at night.  Or someone may have told them that their parents have a direct line to Santa Claus, to thwart typical bad kid behavior (which totally makes us magic by default, right?).  Not to brag, but this Mommy can also read their minds with a little patience and a good hard stare that'll make them sweat out the real story.  
I guess Truth Sense is hereditary.

However, I think the grownups have overlooked a kid's own set of naturally born super abilities. I have only recently discovered a few of these powers (Warning: If not re-trained, the following behaviors  could, quite terribly, grow stronger with age):

• Protective Hearing Shields: These ensure that while the kids are looking at their parents and nodding, they’re simultaneously throwing up invisible shields over their ears that cause any vocal commands to bounce right off of them.  This act results in the parental response: "You haven’t listened to a word I said. "
• Hyper-Focus Vision: This is unfortunately mistaken by many adults as the Not-Paying-Attention Complex.  However, your children are actually quite capable of focusing on whatever they please (note: blank stare at T.V.).  So when they can't find their P.E. shoes, and you think that they're irresponsible or forgetful, test their super power by asking a different question: "Will you locate the Oreos in the pantry?" or "What were the words to the Spiderman theme song again?"  Ah.  They CAN remember. Sneaky sneaky.
• Dinner Table Diversion: What seems like an aversion to any healthy food grown from an actual garden, is really the small people's diversionary tactic. Like Hyper-Focus Vision, kids just know exactly what they want and have an amazing talent for getting it.  Before you cave and punish the whole family with mac n cheese for every single meal, try the adult's own secret weapon- ask them if they would like dessert.  Works every time.

Bottom line: Your kids are smarter than they reveal.  In fact, admitting their many super powers would mean compromising their defenses.  But what they don't realize is that the parents have been around longer.  We have a few more tricks up our sleeves.  Our talents may not be the magic of flight or shooting webs out of our hands, but as they say, "Knowledge is POWER." 

 

Be Super right back!