The 3 P's for Potty Training and Parenting

The dreaded potty-training started in June. I didn't have to drive the kids to school or activities, so I planned to camp out for a week or two and usher my three-year-old out of diapers. I expected the worst, having experienced this unpretty and stressful stage with two other children. 

But my little guy surprised me. Maybe it was because of his sibling audience. Maybe he was just "ready." Maybe Mom here finally stomped her foot loud enough that he got the message. The little guy pulled up his undies and walked around like a professional toilet flusher in less than a week!

I couldn't believe it. Yes, there were a few accidents, but my trainee took over rather quickly on his own.

So grateful and relieved, I thought, "Wow. That's it? My job here is done."

After around 10 years of changing diapers, I was stepping out into a brand new season...

Then, a month in, my son peed on the couch three times in one day. Wet his bed nights in a row. Wouldn't tell me he had to go until it was too late. 

He tricked me! 

Frustrated and discouraged, I was back at square one- setting the potty timer, physically taking the boy to the bathroom, cleaning up messes, and washing extra loads of laundry. 

Potty-training is exhausting and demanding.

So is parenting

The hardest thing in each task is staying objective and keeping my cool. It's the same challenge I face when my kids don't listen, as well as when I'm housebreaking a preschooler.

So how can I lessen negative reactions to repeated offenses? For every aspect of parenting I'm attempting to keep the following P's in mind: 

BE PATIENT

Put on patience like you put on clothes. Count to ten. Take a deep breath and say, "It's okay." Lower your expectations. You're dealing with kids learning a new skill. It will take some time, so take your time.

STAY POSITIVE

Put on a good attitude. Choose a better perspective. Try to make it fun, even if you don't feel like smiling. Have a sense of humor and watch the stress dissolve. Being positive never hurt anybody.

PERSEVERE

Put your eyes on the goal and keep going until you get there! Focus. As with patience, remember that no matter how long it takes, they will learn. It will just take some longer than others, so those kids just need you to keep at it. Persevere. Don't quit until they get it!

So on the days, when you're tired of telling kids to pick up their trash, remember their manners, or clean their rooms, tell yourself, "Be patient. Stay positive. Persevere."

They will learn. Thank goodness for that! My son figured out bathroom logistics just in time for preschool :-)

So Now That It's Summer, I Have a Plan

Okay, ya'll (that's how we say it in the south), summertime is upon us!  And as much as I love the break from hurried mornings and cram-packed afternoons, let's be real about what an 11 week school break also means.

Summer means having around 14 hours (depending on the ages and internal alarm clocks of your kids) of dead air.  There will be no other entertainment or adult supervision but us. 

THIS IS WHY MOM NEEDS A PLAN! 

I make no concrete commitments during summer time, but this is at least the third summer I've created a flexible family calendar of events/themes.  The point is to give me a goal every day to play with my kids.  To be intentional.  Even for an hour.  
Because it's summer!  
Because there will still be cleaning and errands but only one summer a year to make moments together. 
Because without some sort of plan, summer break can lead to CHAOS!

Granted, it's not a fool proof plan.  Kids get sick.  Friends cancel. Sometimes, all we want to do is live in our pjs. The goal is not to stress over details here.  Some weeks I have a field trip on the calendar and other days I just wing it.  The great thing about this plan is that it can be tweaked as needed.  With families, flexibility is key.  
 
This is my effort to beat the inevitable boredom and schedule some organized fun.  While some of my friends spend straight days at the pool, I need a little variety (and shade)!  That's why I came up with this little summer plan:

MAKE SOMETHING MONDAY

• For craft projects, play doh, finger-painting, puppet shows, movie making, baking, or whatever you love to do or love to put off until inspiration strikes.  Check Pinterest!  Look at what you already have around you.  Sometimes, it's just fun to make something.  For this one day, let them make a mess.  It'll clean up.
• To kick off our week (even while nursing a sick 3-year-old back to health) we glued miscellaneous beads on small canvas squares- because we already had all the supplies on hand! Easy.

TAKE A TRIP TUESDAY

• Time to get out of the house for the morning!  Find a park, a pool, a museum, a trail...anything.  It's about exploring and getting the wiggles out :-)  And if you go before it gets so hot you can't breathe, you have the rest of the day to get things done around the house while your kids veg out on the couch.  You're welcome.

WATER FUN WEDNESDAY

• Pool, sprinkler, water guns, slip-n-slide, beach.  The end.

THINK A THOUGHT THURSDAY

• For trips to the library, math activities, writing stories and reading them.  This is a day for using our brains, because learning can be fun outside of school when you find things you're interested in!

FIND A FRIEND FRIDAY

• Just in case you can't organize sleepovers and play dates on other days of the week, this one is just for that!  One day a week, I make a point to invite someone over for a visit or call my kids' friends to meet up. 

SATURDAY & SUNDAY FAMILY FUN DAYS

• My weekends are for family.  They're for sleeping in and doing things together.  I don't like to map out every minute of our time.  I love both spontaneity and rest, so these are my general goals for Saturday and Sunday.  A last-minute cookout or watching the kids play from the front porch.  It doesn't matter.

It's our first official week of summer, and my kids have already been asking days in advance what we're going to do.  They know that they have something to look forward to each day, which is great. So then later, when they complain about not having anything to do (and they will), I can point to my calendar and say, "Well, I did this for you already.  You are responsible for your own fun now.  Get creative!" After all, a little boredom is the starting place for some of the best ideas, right? I'm off the hook!

How do you spend your summer?

You can find me on instagram and share your summer adventures with hashtags  #themomseason #makesomethingmonday #takeatriptuesday #waterfunwednesday #thinkathoughtthursday #findafriendfriday

Five Things I Said I'd Never Do When I Became a Mom...but Did Anyway

Be honest.  Have you created a mental list of things you would and wouldn't do, using other families as real life examples?  Did you find it more difficult than you thought to stick to those aspirations?

Oh, how sure we are of ourselves before we have kids of our own (or more than one child).  How easy it is to judge another mom using a safety harness to keep her toddler from getting lost in the mall, until our little Olympic-sprinter-in-training causes us to think that it's the best invention ever!  Motherhood is really humbling, isn't it?

Here is a short list of inexperienced presumptions I had about parenting, until now:

Five Things I Said I'd Never Do...but Did Anyway

1. Wear sweatpants in public. I once thought that if I wasn't put together at the bus stop or dressed up for the grocery store, that I would appear a failure as a mother- like I couldn't handle it.  Three kids later, I don't really care.  That's not saying that I don't try to look presentable, so as not to embarrass our family name.  I do promise to brush my teeth and wash my face (at some point). But if you're a mom, I'm just going to expect you to get it.  Some days, makeup and hair is extra. (FYI: You can cheat by wearing yoga pants or a perfectly matched workout ensemble, because it makes it look like you just came back from training for a marathon.  In my mind, this makes you look awesome, because I hate exercise.  Keep it up).
2. Bribe my kids with candy. I had a friend who packed M & M's for trips to the pool and playground, because that was the only way she could get her preschooler to go home without a complete meltdown.  She was hilarious...and smart. I thought to myself, "My kids just better listen to me and not throw tantrums, or we will have words!"  But when I have had to take a renown screamer shopping with me, I have been known to pull out the gummy snacks for my sanity.  I WILL bring out the lollipops when my children are begging me for cereal with marshmallows or need to go to the bathroom again. It allows me to think for a solid five minutes! No apologies. With some peace and quiet, and happy kids, I may actually remember everything on my list.
   
3. Answer, "Because I said so." Listen, we all want to keep open lines of communications with our children, but man, they are persistent little lawyers-in-the-making sometimes, and I am just TIRED of rebuttals!  When "Yes, ma'am" becomes too difficult for them to manage, I have no patience or brainpower to continue the verbal back-and-forths (You are a CHILD, for Pete's sake). This reply will just have to do.  Because I said so.  And because I'm the mom.
4. Let the TV babysit my kids.  Well, I don't know about you, but I am without a live-in nanny or family member to help manage the multiple requests and household operations that occur DAILY.  There are times when no amount of play-doh, crayons, or building projects will keep kids entertained without demanding my assistance. So in order to help one kid with homework or to provide a home-cooked meal each evening, I may need a "Hail, Mary."   The problem is, with so much going on, I have admittedly forgotten that my three-year-old has been upstairs watching Disney Jr. for more than an hour.  I'm not proud of it. But good gracious, look what I have accomplished!
5. Raise my voice. "Yelling" sounds so harsh, doesn't it?  Since becoming a mom of more than one kid, I hereby confess that I have stretched my vocal chords on more than one occasion (which is funny, because my high school cheerleading coach always told me that I wasn't loud enough).  I don't like loud.  I don't like being loud.  But I cannot compete with the noise level and my kids' selective hearing on any given day!  I have wondered if there exists some kind of app with a siren or gym teacher's whistle that would get their attention. Let me know if you find one.

I hope this post reminds you that we really shouldn't take ourselves too seriously when the mom season is full of so many variables!  We always have and always will have a lot to learn...and a lot to laugh about!

What would you add to the list?  Leave a comment below.

Hip Hop Happiness

Just one of our responsibilities as moms is keeping our families healthy- choosing the right foods that the kids will eat or the right activity to burn off some energy.   What activities do your kids enjoy? Are you a soccer fam, or do you call the baseball fields "home" every weekend?

It's not just about the kids, though. We also have to de-stress and take care of ourselves. Maybe you love to run at the end of your day or hit yoga after dropping the kids off at school. I personally love walking with a friend, as well as riding bikes with the kids around the neighborhood. Do you love Zumba?  Are you into CrossFit? Do you or your kids train for the next 5K together?

It can be challenging to find the right fitness trend or sport that fits your family's tastes and schedules, but when we do it can be a lot of fun (and what mom doesn't need a little more of that?)! 

 

For our family, we're all about HIP HOP these days!

When we moved here almost a year ago, we looked for a quick way for the kids to make friends and get connected.  It turned out that there was this fun hip hop studio just opening about five minutes down the road.  My oldest two watched videos over the summer and couldn't wait for classes to start in August.  They've been hooked ever since!

My daughter decided to try the competition team and hasn't wanted to skip a single practice!  My son works on his dance moves around the clock, which of course means my 3-year-old is preparing for his own hip hop debut. Even Mom tries to hit an evening dance workout for the grownups once a week. It's become a family affair (with the exception of my 6'4" husband who's waiting for my kids to join the basketball team)! We all have a blast cranking up the beats and tearing up the family room dance floor at home (Please, no videos).

I feel so lucky to have found a place that we all love to be.  The happiness is infectious at this studio, which is why we keep going back.  Every week, the kids are inspired to work on something new and dance their cares away.  I can't count the times my daughter came home crying about some school day drama only to leave her dance class in a completely better mood.  And of course, I love that it keeps everyone active!

So this post is a shout out to our new favorite activity...and to my daughter's dance crew, who keeps bringing home first place!

What's your family's favorite activity?  SHARE!

Making Your Kid's Halloween Costume Doesn't Make You A Good Mom

My "Peanut Big Top Lalaloopsy Doll"

Now that the trick-or-treating is over, I can sit down and reflect on the HOURS I spent putting my daughter's costume together.

This is not me bragging, by any means.  Call it a warning, a lesson learned, and a maybe a little encouragement.

First, let's talk about how I NEVER think a Pinterest craft will take very long.  Sure, it's a DIY project, but there's no category for DIYF (Do It Yourself Fast) projects.  They should label those pins with average work hours like recipes include approximate cook and preparation times! This Halloween costume I eagerly volunteered to create for my daughter will only take a few minutes, right? Wrong. It took me 10 or more HOURS!

So there it is: my blind spot. While I get really excited about a new creative venture, I often completely forget to factor in the amount of hours that I'll need to set aside.  The warning label on this project should read "labor-intensive."  Luckily, I started this one in plenty of time, which saved me from so much of the usual stress that comes with my typical procrastination technique!

But this Halloween costume WAS a labor of love, and I actually like doing things like this for my kids now and then.  I didn't have to do it, but I am always looking for creative outlets and momentary departures from the every day tasks. When I can make something AND serve my family, it's always a win-win for me!  Note: I didn't volunteer to sew costumes for the entire crew. I only put together one headpiece, and that was enough!

Ten years ago, however, this new mom once thought I HAD to meet the high standard of making and baking everything from scratch.  If I spent my time designing the most unique fairy skirt or constructing the perfectly original birthday cake, I'd feel like a good mom.  Somehow I had decided that my worth was based on what others thought of my efforts and what deeds I accomplished. This belief is not fair to myself or true in any way.

Your worth never increased or decreased from the moment God created you.  While your good deeds are wonderful and important, God is always looking to the heart of the matter.  He loves you and values you for who you are and who you are becoming- not because of what you do or don't do. Most of the time, we can't see that truth in a tangible way, which is why it's hard to grasp.  Others may see your works, but God sees your heart (1 Samuel 16:7).  

All costumes bought online, except said hair piece and pink shoes.

Maybe it was the depletion of time and energy that came with having more than one child.  My perspective may have changed as I had to choose priorities more wisely.  Sometimes you have to make things easier on yourself.  A lot of times, really.  Don't fall into the guilt trap.  "Supermom" is a myth. There are so many other important responsibilities on your plate- like, I don't know, grocery shopping, planning meals, changing diapers, and folding laundry. All of these things require heaps of your time, effort and attention. 
So when you get a chance to do something extra, do it!  But for most of your days, you have to learn how to take shortcuts.  It's okay. Give yourself a break.  Give yourself grace. 

Making your kid's Halloween costume doesn't make you a "good" mom.  It just means your possibly crazy and brave enough to try, because you like that kind of stuff, and you just happened to find some time to do it.  Those kids care more about how many pieces of candy they score than where the costume came from, anyway!

Click here for instructions on how to re-create your own "Peanut Big Top" Lalaloopsy doll hair.

How Two Bouncy Balls Saved An Afternoon

The other afternoon, I knew I was going to have to kill an hour with the boys while my daughter finished choir practice at school. {Cue moment of dread.}  I needed a plan to ward off the guaranteed whining that would plague the longest sixty minutes of my life.  Nobody likes to wait, and everybody gets bored.

So, I let (or made ) my mommy brain slow down and get a little creative. Too often I rush past this simple and necessary moment, because I really don't want to think about one more thing.  I just want the kids to be more patient and considerate with each other.  
 
Dear mom, those are some high expectations! Since it's unlikely that a 6-year-old and a 2-year-old will graduate the good manners program early, I had to switch gears from "hurry up and get there" to "how can we make this fun?"

I dug around a toy basket until I found two bouncy balls.  

It's amazing how that one stop-and-think minute saved our afternoon!  Equally miraculous was how a couple of bouncy balls and a nearby basketball court so easily entertained two boys.  

House rules thrown out the window. Running, throwing, and screaming allowed. No electronics were involved and zero arguing.  Just precious moments of watching how high or how far the balls would bounce, laughing and furiously trying to catch the runaways, and challenging their hand-eye coordination.

All Mommy had to do was suggest something new.  I should do that more often :-) 

What simple activities are in your Mommy tool belt for those waiting moments (inside or outside)?  Share with the rest of us!

Relax, Mom. Let Them Have Fun!

I have been a stress ball lately.  My husband has pointed it out more than a few times to me this summer.  Unfortunately, my anxiety is contagious.  It makes my kids fearful and can really put a damper on an otherwise pleasant activity. So I've been attempting to recognize the moments I start to get intense and step back for a minute to breathe.

It ain't easy though.  My mind races past the realities of the moment to all the tragic possibilities!  Like when the kids are fishing off of Grandpa's boat, I can clearly predict the impending kid overboard.  So instead of enjoying the moment, I micromanage.  I bark orders like the ship's captain, "Careful there!  Hold on!  Don't run!  Please, sit down! Where are you going?!..."  

I know.  I'm tired of hearing my voice too.  

It's so hard to tone down those overprotective qualities in me, though.  The one that winces at each new risk taken, from climbing the tall playground apparatus to running downhill a concrete driveway.  I foresee scraped knees, broken arms, and rivers of tears!  And guess who has to doctor those tender elbows and clean up their bloody knees?  Me.  Mommy.  I hate seeing my kids in pain.

But scrapes will happen.  Kids trip and fall...a lot.  It's just a part of growing up.  Bless those  Bandaids and popsicles for making so many accidents better!

The risks make the adventure more exciting, doesn't it?  Going down the tall, twisty slide for the first time is a right of passage. Balancing on a bike without the safety of training wheels is every parent's proud, photo-documenting opportunity.  If we never let them try, even with the possibility of getting hurt, they would never learn!  Our kids would miss out on so many exciting adventures!

Remember what it was like to roller skate without holding on to the wall?  Can you recall the rush of letting your bike speed down the tallest hill while you lifted your hands in exhilaration?  That was what it was like to feel carefree.

So, relax, Mom! Let them go!  They may surprise you...and themselves.  Cheer them on! And if you're brave enough, get on your bike too, and get in on the fun.

They'll call for help, if they need you.  Always.

Faith, Fear, & the New School Adventure

 Hi Ho, Hi Ho, to Another New School We Go!

My kids have officially tasted every genre of education, I think.  They have now been students of  public school, homeschool, and private schools.  For some reason, we keep finding ourselves in seasons of change when it comes to our kids' learning environments.

I'm the mom that struggles with each decision, because basically, I am afraid of messing up my kids.  My brain works overtime filtering through all of the choices and hits a state of despair when the kids' future is at stake! 

You know what it's like. We run into other people all of the time with different opinions about how a child should be raised and what they should be learning at what age and what is wrong with all of the other options out there.  The blogs. The books. The sermons. It really can be too much information!

At some point, we have to shut out the voices and prayerfully focus on what works for our own family.  Even more, we need to zero in on what works best for each child.  They are all different! Amazingly, peace arrives when we walk in agreement and confidence with our spouse on the decisions regarding schools-wherever we end up at any given time.  It may take a little time, but God will supply a fresh hope and vision with each bridge we cross over.

Fear-Based Decision Making

What I think we need to be careful about when making decisions for our kids, is that we don't do it out of fear.  Mama bears are known for viciously protecting their cubs, and the human variety is not much different.  It is very easy for us to see any and every challenge as a direct threat to our child's physical or emotional well-being.  Understandably! Most of the time, though, we grab our little charges and run away to hide, instead of fighting each issue that arises in their lives. 

Retreating may be necessary for a season, but we should really use that time to make a plan and strengthen our purpose. What do we want our kids to learn, and how can we make sure they do?

This week, my kids went back to the public school in our new neighborhood.  Truthfully, I cried about leaving the school they attended last year, because it was warm, comfortable, and cozy.  Before that I fought the decision our family made not to continue homeschooling.  Each time something new faced us, I fought it like the mother bear.  I wanted to make sure nothing, and I mean nothing, harmed my children's still-developing beliefs and confidence. I lashed out in fear.

I felt the weight of their spiritual training, now that it wasn't going to be included in their daily school curriculum. I worried about the influences that others would have on their vulnerable worldview. Inwardly, I hung back pleading, "God, show me how this is going to work.  How are you going to lead our family?  Can we still be effective in the teaching of our children when they are away for so many hours?  I give up, God.  Show me."

The thing about praying is that when you're finished asking, you have to wait for an answer.  You have to watch and listen.

We Just Need a Little Faith

I watched my kids adapt each time.  Timidly, but excitedly they stepped out of our den and enjoyed the new places and people they met.  While Mom watched nervously from behind, they walked bravely ahead into a different classroom.  I listened to their first day stories, and God eased all of the previous tensions. With immense faith in me and in our God, my son and daughter jumped into another adventure. It was like God was saying, "See?  I got this.  Remember, I care about them even more than you."

As a Christian, I tell my kids that God is always with them.  I say, "God never makes us afraid."  So it is a test to my faith when I send them off to a strange place.  Do I believe that God is there in my place?  Do I trust Him to protect and teach them when I am not around? 

So instead of holding the kids back in my own fear, I am taking an active role in praying for them like crazy and speaking heaps of truth over them whenever I can. Because God can use us and reveal truth to us anywhere..

...even after three days at the new school.

This week, my son gave his life to Jesus eating Cheerios at the breakfast table!  Not at church. Not at VBS.  Not at his Christian school.  He brought up the conversation in the middle of a normal morning on our way to public school.

God hears our prayers.  He is always with us.  We just have to trust Him. Watch what He will do!

Checking off School Supply Lists...and Counting my Blessings

The day finally arrived. I proudly (and with misty eyes) watched my son and daughter walk into a new school yesterday. We were excited, nervous...and ready! 

Then it hit me how tired I was. A lot of work goes into getting our kids ready for the first day of school, doesn't it?

The preparations didn't begin the night before.  We dunked our kids in baths, laid out their favorite outfits, prepared school lunches, labeled possessions, filled out one more form, and zipped up the necessary folders and books for the next morning.  However, for over a week prior, I was also busy switching out shrunken clothes for new ones, as well as, driving to five separate stores in pursuit of the bullet-pointed requests from our first and fourth grade teachers:

• 4 boxes of crayons &
  3 packs of markers
• 20 glue sticks
• 7 PACKS of pre-sharpened pencils *
•  4 journals
• 3 plastic folders with prongs (no paper please)
• 3 packs of black, broad tip dry erase markers
• 4+ pink erasers
• 1 pack of cardstock paper
• 5 three-ring binders with
  3 packages of tab dividers
• 1 pencil pouch, plus 1 pencil box
• 2 pairs of scissors
• 1 yellow highlighter,
  2 black fine point sharpies
• 2 packs of clear sheet protectors
• 1 package of wide-ruled notebook paper...

The homework hasn't really even started yet, but I have already felt a few inches too close to overwhelmed when I looked through the kids' back-to-school supply lists.  Raise your hand if you were standing in a store aisle recently too. Let's go ahead an add that to our list of motherhood achievements (and bonus points for finding everything).

I didn't even include all of the details on my kids' supply lists!  There were specific brand names and colors and dimensions.  Finding all of the items was only half of the journey!  After Mom carried the shopping bags in, divided them between the kids, and checked off the lists, she still had to label the loot!  My son's first grade teacher asked us to unpack almost all of his supplies and write our child's name on every. single. item. Wait.  There's more... My daughter's fourth grade teacher requested pre-sharpened pencils, but the brand she wanted did not come in that condition.  So my ten-year-old and I rotated 48 pencils through a puny, little plastic pencil sharpener.  

I'm not bragging, but this mom clocked in some overtime over the weekend!

 Now, here is where perspective leads to gratefulness and the self-focused whining disappears.  I have to assume that the reason we get such demanding lists is because the school just doesn't have enough financial resources, and teachers have to compensate for the students who don't bring overstuffed plastic shopping bags on their first day of school. It must be like Christmas to educators!
  
Truth: I can bless others. 
I have to keep reminding myself that it's public school.  It's free.  In a small, but tedious way, I'm helping the teacher.  WE are supporting entire classrooms with our purchases and unpaid efforts. 

My son's teacher probably feels strapped for time while keeping up with school standards and meeting her own family's needs.  I can understand that. By assisting this first grade teacher, I hope that my son is receiving a fabulous education.

Also, my family had the money to purchase all of those glue sticks and crayons.  There's enough to house, clothe, feed my family, as well as, take us on shopping trips for new school supplies. That's extra.  It's a perk. I am thankful for checked-off supply lists and heavy backpacks on the first day of school. 

My blessings are abundant (that means, "more than enough).  Our opportunities to bless others, endless. We all find ourselves in positions to be generous to others or to receive the generosity from others.

YOU, moms, are generous- with every dime or minute given! For each of you out there who pounded the pavement, wore out a few Sharpies labeling school items, and couldn't sleep making sure every detail was just about perfect for the little ones' first day, remember that your good deeds are not wasted!

You are a blessing :-)

Count it ALL Joy

This is MOVING WEEK! Aaahhh... Boxes everywhere.  My in-laws have swooped in as much needed additional troops to aid in this massive operation. Even the kids have jumped in and bargained to earn $1 for each box they pack.  Deal.  Just pack!

Truckloads of our possessions have disappeared from our driveway and consumed the garage at the new house.  I refuse to think about the UNpacking process yet.  Yeesh. 

Good news: we will be spending the weekend in our new house!  Hooray!

As always, I'm required to be a Multi-Tasking Mommy. With all that's already happening around here, there are still school lunches to pack every morning, laundry to do, homework to complete, soccer games to attend, and end-of-the-year school events written on my calendar. We are BUSY.

Enter life interruption: My littlest boy woke up before 5am yesterday morning coughing and throwing up every 30 minutes, I was like, "Seriously?!" My plans for the day drastically changed as I traded taping boxes to disinfect, rotate laundry, schedule a doctor's appointment, and figure out who was going to pick up the older kids from school.  Great.

But as I went into Mommy-Nurse mode, a verse popped into my frazzled thoughts:
"Count it all joy... (James 1:2)"
 
Sometimes the Bible has so many eyebrow-raising notions that it causes us to stop and think, "Now, what does THAT mean?" Which is what I have been doing.  Thinking.  How do I find joy in struggles? I mean, what is happy about sickness?  What's so great about delays?

When my kids are sick, I do notice that it makes me slow down.  I have to drop everything and divert my attention to bringing them back to health.  Joy= Being there for my kids and showing them love.  This is what I'm here for. And thankfully rejoicing when they recover.

When my to do list is a mile long and I am overwhelmed at the prospect of not accomplishing what I need to do.  I am then required to stop and prioritize the important things, so that I'm not just being busy for the sake of being busy.  Thank goodness for a husband who thinks more logically than emotionally.  That helps too :-)  Joy= Constantly reminding myself to not make the small stuff big stuff. 

Joy= Friends and family that come out of the woodwork when you need them.
Joy= Every good night's rest and brand new morning to start over and try again.

How do YOU "count it all joy" when times are tough?

Toys: Sentimental Things and Memories that Matter

I am a sentimental person.  Things represent memories to me, and it takes a passage of time to separate the nostalgia from the stuff. The stuff is not as important as the memories made, I have to remind myself.  I have gotten better at letting go of the things over the years, as I remember that I can still retain those memories without them.

So it is time to purge again. Clean out the extra and simplify. It's essential to a mom's survival- letting go of the old and moving on with the new.  With every move and changing seasons with the kids, I have to assess the toys our family has accumulated- especially since we're moving into a smaller house.

We have almost always had a play space dedicated just for their collections, which means that a lot of colorful, inanimate objects sit on display there- sometimes untouched for weeks, months. Because the toys do not play with my kids, but wait for someone to manipulate their moving parts and breathe imaginary life into their stationary existence.  Our kids figure out very quickly that those things will not make them happy, because they are unable to play back.  It's the friends and family who make playing fun and create memories that matter- not toys.  No wonder kids are so quickly bored with their stuff. 

And yet, they have an equally hard time saying goodbye to the things that they own.  I believe their struggle lies more in how they view their relationship with their toys- is their identity wrapped up in the things they possess?  Does more stuff mean that you are more important in the eyes of others?  Does is represent your worth?  Making attachments to things means that a deeper need is probably not being met- a need for love. By showing our children that material things cannot provide true contentment and often tempt us away from relationships that truly matter, we're saving them some heartache in the future- and possibly terrible spending habits.

It doesn't mean that I struggle any less with buying the lie that purchasing shiny new objects will make my kids happy.  The TV shouts it at us all the time.  I joke with my three children every time Christmas rolls around and they see the barrage of toy commercials hitting the air waves: "Do you want that for Christmas?  That's what they want you to do.  Don't even think about."

It's true what they say, Stuff doesn't make you happy, and Money can't buy you love.
Let's remember today that time is more precious than the things that we own.  That is what our kids will remember the most.  Toys never reciprocate love, but you can.

Do you have any encouragement or words of wisdom for others that have trouble letting go of things?  Share!

 

Without a Nursing Degree

This has been the scene at our house for the past three days.  A sad, feverish little guy sleeping the hours away. The doctor says it's another case of Strep.  The sick boy won't take his meds, so it looks like we're going to ride this one out...

This post is for all the moms out there who've nursed sick kids without a nursing degree. You deserve a license, a bonus, or something for the extra job of making your kids better.  Because you do miracles.

• You dab their heads with a cold wash cloth, when the fever won't go away.
• You patiently coax them with chocolate to take their yucky medicine and popsicles to take in more fluids.
• You make them laugh and let them watch movies or T.V. for as long as they're sick.
• You hardly sleep, because they started breathing weird and you wanted to make sure they were okay.
• You can't focus on anything else, because you're watching the clock and jotting down symptoms and the last time they had a dose of Tylenol.
• You Lysol anything little hands touch and open windows to air the germs out.
• You simultaneously manage to keep the other children entertained and away from the sick patient.
• You rub their backs, sing songs, pray, and tell them they'll be okay, even though you're completely stressed out watching them suffer. 
• You drop everything you're doing to nurse them back to health.

They're aren't degrees for parenting sick kids, but you do it. You demonstrate love in these times, and you're there. Your kids will remember that.
So even though you're tired and untrained, you're doing a great job.  Keep it up.

How do you cheer up your kids when they're sick?

Spring Break at Home

This week is my kid's spring break from school.  We're not packing up for the beach, although we did just get back from a weekend visiting friends another state away.  No, this year, we're staying at home. And why not?

Spring break at home is still a vacation, because:

1. We can wake up at our leisure.
2. We get a break from the normal hurried routines.
3. Mommy can sit down and play Legos without feeling like she's not doing something else that needs to get done before tomorrow.
4. The kids can play on the iPad, watch favorite TV shows, and play on the computer, since there's no homework.
5. There's no homework.
6. I don't have to pack school lunches. Mommy can cook one meal for everyone.

Who doesn't like a week of rest?

1. Breakfast doesn't need to be rushed.
2. Daily housework is more of a team effort.
3. We love crafts, and now we have time to do them!
4. Mom & Dad don't have to drive as much, taking kids to and from school.
   
5. We can hang out in our pjs.
6. Family field trips during the weekday- not so crowded!
7. I am not my toddler's sole means of entertainment when brother & sister are around. 
8. Playdates with friends can last all day...or night.

Come to think of it, we did a lot of these things when we were homeschooling!  Hmmm...

How are you spending your spring break?

Praying for Brothers to Get Along

I have two boys.

They are 5 and 2.

My sons are loud and rough.

It's hard to watch them argue.

Communication is a learned art.

Fighting, grunting, throwing, stomping, kicking- natural.

 I'm their mom.

The mom likes quiet.

She hates conflict and noise.

Watching their frustration tires me.

Peace-making and understanding, please.

Hugging, laughing, sharing, listening, forgiving- my desire.

Thanks to The MOB Society, I have ways to pray specifically for the hearts of my boys now (you can follow them on facebook to receive a verse/prayer for the day).  I can't just hope they will grow into compassionate men.  I ask God to help me teach them and do what only He can do in showing them the way to love others.

And when I find them pushing trucks around on the soccer fields together, I freeze time with my camera.  This is a precious moment.  I want to remember that friendship is possible, that kindness is growing. With God, all things are possible.