Music Monday- I'm Letting Go

This is a giant leap of faith.
I'm trusting and trying to embrace
The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone. - Francesca Battistelli 

This isn't a new song, but I find that it cycles through one of my Pandora stations often and speaks to the season I'm in right now.

When my husband and I decided to make this recent move to a new city, a new state, I went through a mental process of crossing off a list of all my previous plans.  I thought they were such good goals for myself and my kids, for what ministries I would be a part of, and the paths our family envisioned ourselves strolling down.

Unexpectedly, I had to let go of the life I had planned and move forward with the hope that maybe there was an even better future for us and even better dreams.

It means, though, that I don't know what's ahead.  I am sort of closing my eyes and taking a scary, but exhilarating leap off a cliff into strange waters.  A leap of faith.

But if there wasn't a little bit of fear, the jump wouldn't require trust or faith.  We don't often call on God when our feet are on the ground and the road is paved and predictable.

So what do we do when we're standing on the edge, afraid of what will happen next? I remind myself of the same thing I tell my kids:  God is with you wherever you go (Genesis 26:24, Genesis 31:3, Exodus 3:12, Joshua 1:5, 1 Kings 11:38, Isaiah 43:2...).

You don't have to leap alone.
We may have to let go of our plans and our fears,
but He will never let go of our hand.

Pity Party Reality Check

The other night, I attended a party in my honor- with one single invitee...me.
It was my very own pity party.
Yippee.

Sometimes, it just hits me- what I sacrifice to be the mom I want to be.  I fixate on what I'm missing by choosing to stay home to raise my kids.  I'm tired.  I'm lonely.  I feel tied down.  Zeroing in on what I have given up, I forget to see how I am blessed.  I lose focus on how important my job is.

After a night of rest, I was reminded of a story of Nehemiah in the Old Testament.  He decided to take on the huge job of rebuilding Jerusalem's city wall that had lain broken for ages.  He did the fundraising.  He hired the workers.  He rallied the troops and defended the city.  It was his mission.  In the middle of all that determination, effort and sweat, people tried to pull him away from his project.  They didn't have the same passion that Nehemiah did.  They didn't think he would be missed or that it was very important.  But with conviction, Nehemiah refused to be distracted:

I am doing a great work.  I cannot come down. - Nehemiah 6:3 (The Message)

Tears dried, I remember that I am committed to this season of taking care of and teaching three young children that God has given to me.  I cannot let other people who don't share my vision pull me away from the job at hand.  I can't check out.  I can't run away.  I can't jet off to exotic locations and forget  the responsibilities I have here at home.  It's my job.  It just isn't as easy as it used to be to take a trip out of town or snag coffee with a friend.  But it's only a season...

I don't ever want to regret doing what I felt was the right thing to do.

We all have different callings, different circumstances, and different goals.
I will not feel guilty for saying, "I'm sorry.  My work is too important to stop now."
And I cannot lose focus on why I am here and what I am doing.

After all, I'm the only mom Bella, Brody, and Boone have :-)

So, in whatever season you are in or whatever your mission, set your eyes on the prize- even when you're tired:

You know that many runners enter a race, and only one of them wins the prize. So run to win! Athletes work hard to win a crown that cannot last, but we do it for a crown that will last forever.- 1 Corinthians 9:24-25 (CEV) 

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus...so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. -Hebrews 12:1-3 (NIV)

Say it with me, 
"You are doing a great work.  Do not lose heart."
  





Pity party over.