The Halloween My Teenager Broke Up With Me

If you are a mom of small children, and do not yet have a teenager walking around your house, consider this post a warning:

2016

Last year, I cried on my front porch steps, while I waited to hand out candy to the neighborhood kids. There was barely a trickle of them as the evening became later, cooler, quieter.

I had, quite unexpectedly, gotten left behind.

My husband had taken my two sons ahead, while I planned to hunt for candy with my daughter and her friends. 

Except, my daughter, who was dressed as Little Red Riding Hood, but was actually a teenager in disguise, suddenly requested that I stay back.

Whaaat?!? 

She wanted to skip down the deep, dark sidewalks ALONE (with her friends)- clearly embarrassed by my presence. In her defense, she was trying to be kind.

But I was completely taken off guard. I. Didn't. Know. What. To. Do.

*Insert broken heart emoji*

Apparently, this is a real thing.  I've talked to other moms who've had the same experience.  

Apparently, middleschoolers break up with their parents on Halloween night.

Apparently, they forget who purchases their costumes and lets them eat candy before bedtime.

*Insert shocked/mad/teary face emoji*

2017

If you haven't reached this motherhood milestone yet, you have time to make preparations. Get ready. The times, they are a changin'.

But it doesn't mean the fun has to end! It's just going to start looking a little differently.

As I was NOT prepared for this emotional parenting downturn last year, I made plans to face Halloween 2017 with a new perspective.

We hosted an early dinner party at my house, so that my daughter and her friends could get dressed up together. I conjured up a giant pot of chili, with a side of nachos, apple cider, and butterbeer. I invested in more decorations than usual (Harry Potter-inspired). And I made said teenager promise to pose for pictures before they left. 

"Memories," I warned. She complied.

Of course, it helped that the moms of her girlfriends were suffering from ghosts of Halloweens past as well. Missing their coordinated family costumes and little swinging pumpkin buckets heavy with loot, I made sure they felt as much a part of the night as I could.

Because we're all in this together, mom friends- trying to be cool and simultaneously saying sad goodbyes inside from all of this growing up stuff. *sniff*

But onward we bravely proceeded. Into this new world of Teenagerdom. Where they still need you, but not as much. Where they want you, but when no one else is around. 

Where. This. Is. Their. Last. Year. Of. Trick-or-treating.

So 2017 was both beautiful and bittersweet at our home. I canvased the neighborhood with my boys and their friends (no crying on the steps), while my daughter got her precious time away from her humiliating parents. All of the kids loved the extra festivities that happened to land on an otherwise typical Tuesday (as did I). And it turned out to be, possibly, our favorite October 31st ever.

Bonus: My unicorn onesie made the children just uncomfortable enough to be funny..and extremely rewarding. Bwahahaha.

*insert laughing hysterically emoji*

Watching to See a Twinkle of Joy

He wants me to see him do a flip on our backyard trampoline, but he doesn't stick the landing on the first try.

"Wait, Mom! That's wasn't it," he quickly shouts (He knows me). "Watch!"

Look up from your phone. Stop the hamster wheel in your brain that's telling you to rotate the laundry, sign up for flag football, and organize the library...again.

It's hot. The trampoline springs squeak, and my son attempts another acrobatic stunt while I force myself to keep my feet planted on the concrete patio. To command my attention on this new physical feat. 

Stand still. Keep watching. You can do this.

He finishes his amazing trick and immediately jerks his face up to observe my reaction.

"Did you see it, Mom?"

Okay. Phew. Yes.

I clap. I smile, relieved and genuinely happy for him, but edgy to get onto the next thing. 

"Nice one!" I offer. He turns away to keep jumping. Proud. Accomplished. Satisfied. 

I spin around and head towards the house. A little proud as well (I didn't miss it), but not feeling as accomplished. There's still more to do.

Finally free to answer the call of the hamster wheel, I'm obsessed, like a woman grabbing at a cupcake to feed a sugar craving (I probably skipped lunch). 

This will make me feel better, I believe. 

And I irrationally convince myself that if I hurry, today will be the day that it all gets done and the lists will be completely crossed off.  

THEN, I will feel accomplished. 
And THEN I will give myself permission to enjoy more. 
But only then.

I think, Just let me finish this. 
Hold on. I'll be right there. 
Can that wait until later? 
After this is done, I will be able to do that.

But it's NEVER all done, is it? A finished project, maybe, that takes longer than you think. And later? When will THAT be?

It only takes five (however excruciating) minutes to pause from the compulsion to be busy and watch the trampoline show.  But it's such a struggle to discern the important from the urgent- to balance the meaningful and the mundane.  

Work HAS to be done, but so does life. So does love. 

Sometimes, it's true that you can love the work too.  It can bring contentment too. But it can also drain more energy than you were expecting, steal more time before you realize what's happening.

The occasions for spotting joy trickle in at the most random times. They don't call and set up appointments. They don't glare. They twinkle.  

The  windows of opportunity- to snap a mental Polaroid- open up intermittently in the hours you work and play. While you're making the bed or buckling a kids' seat belt. While you're answering emails or filling up the grocery cart.

https://pixabay.com/id/bima-sakti-batuan-malam-lanskap-916523/

To catch sight of a shooting star, you have to keep your eyes peeled. And you have to be aware of the full sky at the same time, because you don't know in what direction it will come from. Blink and you'll miss it. But wait, there's probably another one.  This could be a meteor shower. Or not.

Oh!  But when you see it! 
That open window. 
That back flip.
That star. 
THAT'S THE STUFF= joy.

Not the list. Not the hamster wheel.  Not some kind of perfect timing.  

Just a soul expectant and a heart observant.

Let everyone else race around in circles. You can stop. Just for a minute. Look up and keep watching. That's your life.

Isn't it lovely?

Summer Book One

Find the book here.

Read Jo's blog here.

Find me on Instagram here. 

#themomseason #justforfunsummer

A Summer's Resolution

The edge between the school year and summer break feels a bit like New Year's Eve.  My brain is just about dead from the demands celebrations require of me, but I still sense a nudge to give myself some kind of new goal.  A personal purpose. A thing to look forward to before the next few months roll over me like an avalanche of everyone's else's plans.

We moms are professional activity planners for our kids and our families because:
A.) We want to make memorable moments.
B.) We realize the importance of connection.
C.) We know that kids require some direction.
D). We will lose our minds trying to do all of the entertaining ourselves!

But do we make space on the calendar for our own kinds of fun?

My Summer's Resolution is to do things just for fun.  Why should the kids have all of the adventures and play dates and camps? Let's take these next few months to check off some bucket lists of our own!

Go paddle boarding.
Play an instrument.
Paint something.
Go to a non-kid movie with friends.
Sit by the pool alone.
Decorate a room.
Go on a date.
Put together a huge puzzle.
Take a class.
Go for a run.
Do yoga.

This summer could be one for the books!  Because we reminded ourselves that's it's okay to take the kids to the library and then drop them off with Grandma while we sip iced coffee and window shop for a spell. Or we closed the bedroom door to read in peace and quiet. Honestly, taking fun breaks are a win for the whole family!

Share your #justforfunsummer on instagram: @dbyham.

Just for the Fun of It?

What if we did more things just for the fun of it?  Not for recognition.  Not for a paycheck. And not because it was included in a list of obligations.

What if we just followed our leanings and didn't care what so-and-so thought about it?  Our outfit choices, our decorating decisions, or our book selections? Or even how we organize our schedules?

What if we painted a unicorn just because we wanted to? Or wrote because we just liked the way the words fit together? Or made plans with a friend just because we liked their company?

Not for what we could get.
Not for a higher step on the social ladder.
Not for any reason whatsoever.

JUST FOR FUN!

Maybe we'd laugh more.  Maybe we'd be a little more chill.  Maybe we'd be a lot more comfortable in our own flip flops/sneakers/heels/boots. Maybe we'd be happier moms.

Maybe we'd make people smile. Make them want some of that freedom, some of that spunk, some of that confidence.

Maybe we'd remember when we thought dandelions were flowers to wish upon and not weeds messing up our manicured yards of unrealistic expectations. That silly, not-so-serious, side of us might bloom right where it's planted. We wouldn't hide or wait for permission anymore.

I wonder if we'd finally capture that ever elusive creature we named JOY. I wonder if it would nuzzle right up to our souls like an old friend we'd been missing.  And I wonder if it would stay.

Because this one-time life is a gift for enjoying (Ecclesiastes 5:18-20).

#justforfunsummer #themomseason

Are you underestimating your mom super powers?

Forget the cape.  Forget the ability to fly, to move things with your mind, to see through solid walls. When I became a mom, I unexpectedly acquired some real super powers.

You probably did too- even if you haven't yet discovered them.

I don't know when it happened for me exactly. It was less instantaneous than a reaction to a spider bite. Though I've been told that I produce a natural glow, the mysterious gene went largely unnoticed for years... until people started frequently asking me, Where is my hairbrush? Has anyone seen my sunglasses? Can you find the remote?

Then it happened. My senses intensified and I could see my newfound strength. 

When someone in my family cannot locate a missing item, they call me. I. Am. The. Finder. of. Things. Lost library books, shoes, costume pieces, homework, permission slips, favorite stuffed animals, water bottles, broken pieces to things...You name it. I recover it.

Not to puff out my chest, put my hands confidently on my hips and brag, but I've gradually come to realize that this is a very uniquely special talent. God blessed with me kids and then simultaneously bestowed on me the necessary skills that would be required to save the planet from certain destruction. Because Heaven knows, that somebody needs to keep track of the stuff!

Also, I'm your woman if you need a human lie detector or last minute art project idea. You can call me Wonderful Woman, Magnificent Mother, Fantastic Female. Any will do. But lately, my kids like to shorten it to Mom-do-you-know-where-my-Pokemon-cards-are?

Tell me, what is your parental super power?

Redeeming Regrets and Dusting Off Dreams

This past year I began dusting off some shelved dreams. I entered a new season- sticking my pinky toe into the waters of being a mom and something else too: a writer.

Beginning when my daughter was born 13 years ago, I focused my sole attention on raising, feeding, training, teaching, and cleaning up after her (and later, two more kids). Staying at home, instead of finishing my college degree or pursuing a career, was both a sacrifice and a privilege.  I am thankful for the support of my husband and for the time I had seeing our babies grow up right before my eyes. It wasn't all cute, mind you- especially the parental learning curves, the sleepless newborn nights, the periodic loneliness, and the messy potty training- but I never regretted diving into the whole crazy world of diapers and dishes over resume-building or professional success.

I do, however, still have some regrets.

Aside from embracing motherhood with all of it's priceless memories, I wish I knew that it didn't have to be my ONLY occupation. The new "Mother" title didn't erase my name, my personality, or my God-given abilities prior to holding those precious swaddled infants in the hospital.  I came into the mom season with too many ideals and too many rules, even though I was never officially read any list of expectations on child-rearing before taking my baby home to care for.  But I, personally, critiqued every single one of my moves with an unhealthy slathering of guilt and internal sermons on selfishness.

I regret that I believed that there was only one way to parent.

I regret that I perceived that time spent on personal endeavors was self-centered.

I regret that I was so hard on myself.

I regret that I lived too long without joy or freedom.

It seems backwards, I suppose- wishing that I had mothered a little less. I guess it's more that if I could do it again, I would have mothered better.  Because functioning out of my strengths and skills as often or more than I struggled in areas that were, to me, very draining, it may have all balanced out. My ritual disappointment in my housekeeping ineptitude would have been stabilized with some encouragement in my creative leanings. Instead of squashing my natural inclinations, I could have figured out a way to merge my home life with other avocations. The two worlds wouldn't necessarily cancel each other out.

I find so much fulfillment when I come home after a lunch meeting of the minds or completing a creative project.  It's exciting to share my passions with my family and has been more rewarding than I expected. The best part is realizing that my kids love this side of their mom too.  We get to support ALL of our dreams and celebrate inches of progress TOGETHER.

We are like those intricate patterns that we love to fill in with colored pencils.  The designs catch our eyes because of their bold and colorful complexities- not just a single black line segment on a page. I am a woman, mother, wife, friend, sister, leader, follower, daughter, volunteer, writer, artist, laundress, cook, teacher, reader, and a dozen other things.  And all of those shades of me are elements of some kind of unfinished work of art.

When God said that His creation of me "was good (Genesis 1:27, 31)," I don't think He was referring only to one of my roles or capabilities. I am ALL of the lines and ALL of the colors! And as an artist, which is one of the many roles I ascribe to God, I imagine that it brings him much pleasure to see His flowers bloom and His people live vibrantly.

I am finding that God redeems regrets. He restores dreams.  And the most exciting truth is that He isn't finished making masterpieces out of us (Ephesians 2:10)!

Moms, if you have ever felt expected to cram yourself into some kind of one-size-fits-all box, remember that God has made us all unique.  He planned it that way (1 Corinthians 12).  The "abundant life (John 10:10) doesn't include forcing yourself into someone else's version of motherhood.

Bring out all of your colors and unpack those dreams!

"Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!  Your workmanship is marvelous-  how well i know it (Psalm 139:14)!"

Have you set aside some dreams for a season?  What makes you come alive?

Living Fulfilled When There's No Applause

Have you ever felt that your efforts weren't receiving the attention that you thought they deserved?  At school, on the job, at home? I have often written about the times I've felt unnoticed in motherhood and how I've sought perspective and encouragement during those thankless and lonely moments: Invisible Work and Other Unseen Things, and But Who's Going to be MY Cheerleader?

On a day-to-day basis, we often do things for others without much recognition. My family doesn't always see me sweeping the floor, let alone cheer for me. My work is basically invisible, which can really do a number on how I view myself and what I do. Dissatisfaction and disappointment can regularly sneak in and disrupt my purpose. How can we still find fulfillment during those times of doubt and lack of appreciation?

I recently finished re-reading a small revised version of letters written by a monk from the 17th century.  Practicing God's Presence: Brother Lawrence for Today's Reader introduced me to an incredibly humble man seeking contentment in less than glamorous circumstances.  He performed menial tasks despite physical handicaps and illnesses and still found indescribable joy.  Though Brother Lawrence had given up "the pleasures of his life," he felt that "God surprised him by giving him a life of satisfaction" in return (Elmer, 17). He also believed that, "We shouldn't get tired of doing little things for God, either, because God doesn't care about the size of the task (Elmer, 33)."

I have preached these truths to myself often, because valuing smallness has been a consistent battle for me.The Bible tells us to "work willingly at whatever you do (Col. 3:23) and to "be faithful over a little (Matthew 25:21 )."  So while what I do may not be described as anything grand, I have to remember that the size of a job or the prestige of a title, doesn't mean as much to God.

For as long as I can remember, I have chased big dreams.  It started when I was nine years old, begging to sing a solo in church and continued well into young adulthood.  As I continued to pursue moments of lime-lit greatness, I stumbled down paths of disappointment.  I mistakenly connected my worth to the way people viewed me.  If they approved, I was doing well. If I lost the election or didn't get the part, I felt the defeat of failure. How would I ever make a difference in the world if no one could see me?

To be seen. At the heart of my delusions of grandeur was simply the very basic needs to be loved and to be known. Beneath my seemingly selfish ambitions, that little girl version of me wearing patent leather dress shoes just wanted to do big things. She wanted to know that she mattered and that she was important. 

I was just using the wrong tools to measure my self-worth and my impact.

Over time, I've learned that there is only one source of truth, and that it brings freedom.  Knowing what God says about me limits the power of others' opinions- whether they are loudly spoken or confusingly silent. And like the Apostle Paul, I am continuing to learn  "to be content whatever the circumstances (Phil. 4:11) and like Brother Lawrence to be "happy to work at whatever small job...all for the love of God (Elmer, 24)."

What about you? Have you struggled in the area of not being noticed? Can you relate?

I would love to hear more from others who've been in a season of obscurity- to learn how you processed and how you persevered. Are you still in that place, or have you moved ahead a few spaces?  Will you share your experience in THIS SURVEY?  Your comments can help me write more specifically about the things that help you! 

Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant (Galatians 1:10).

Take-a-Trip Tuesday & a Summer Giveaway!

It's Take-a-Trip Tuesday, and my kids are off to the Summer Movies. Where do you go to cool off when it's hot? Some of our favorite places to get out of the house are: 

the library     the aquarium     indoor trampoline/inflatable park     the beach     a shady playground     children's museum     ice cream shop     the pool     an arcade

 

 If you want more suggestions from The Mom Season's List of 72 Free Summer Activity Ideas, you can still sign up here! 

Since not all of those field trips are free, here's a chance to win some spending money for all those fun summer outings! Click the image below for a $50 cash giveaway.  And share the love with your mom friends!

#TakeATripTuesday #themomseasonsummer

Read the Classics with Your Kids This Summer: A List of Favorites

In the school year, teachers assign books that the kids may not enjoy, or they spend reading requirements on series that fellow classmates recommend.  While their top picks may be fun reads, they often lack brain-building vocabulary, thought-provoking imagery, or inspiring messages that last. That's why the summer is the best time to check out some heftier titles from the library and read as a family!

I love introducing older, popular classics with my kids when we have more downtime. If I don't take the opportunity that school breaks offer, I worry that my three children may not otherwise get the chance to experience these well and long-loved tales. After all, there has to be a reason that certain books have been recycled, revised, and re-told for ages.

Remember what it was like to be bored and forced to come up with your own mental movie pictures? Listening to or reading stories, without provided images, was the original form of entertainment, before television. Kids are never too young or too old to imagine the narratives being told them.  Not only are there brains sparking with renewed creativity, but reading out loud allows me time to explain phrases or words they don't understand, as many older stories have cultural or dated references. For example, I had to explain recently that a "torch" in The Chronicles of Narnia was actually a flashlight. I'm also able to skip over any language or descriptions I find inappropriate for their age.

Reading together on the couch is great family time- maybe even a lost art form.

Understandably, my younger boys sometime resist turning off screens and settling down for lengthy periods of time at first.  But after every chapter is finished, they're hooked and their curiosities are piqued!  We sometimes draw pictures of what we think the characters or scenes looked like.  And when we read an entire book, we find the movie adaptation to celebrate. It's fantastic conversation material, as we compare the film's interpretation to the original story.

Here are a list of classics turned into movies that our family has enjoyed (I started this with my daughter years ago, so many titles are female favorites.  We're venturing more into boy territory these days now too):

• Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
• Charlotte's Web by E.B. White
• Anne of Green Gables* by L.M. Montgomery
• The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis
• Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis
• The BFG by Roald Dahl
• Little Women* by Louisa May Alcott
• The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
• A Little Princess by by Frances Hodgson Burnett
• Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
• Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder

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Here are more on my list to read in the future:

• Mary Poppins by Dr. P. L. Travers
• Heidi by Johanna Spyri
• Matilda by Roald Dahl
• The Lord of the Rings series* by J.R.R. Tolkien
• Pippi Longstocking by Astrid Lingren
• Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson
• The Swiss Family Robinson by Johann D. Wyss
• The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
• The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum
• Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie
• The Collected Tales of Nurse Matilda by Christianna Brand (Movie: Nanny McPhee)
• The Adventures of Robin Hood by Roger Lancelyn Green
• Indian in the Cupboard by Lynne Reed Banks

*These titles are geared more for older children.  My oldest is a middle-schooler, so we can venture into harder texts than with my elementary-school aged sons. 

Do you have a favorite classic story that you think kids may love?  Share!

   

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Any guy can be a father, it takes a special man to be a dad!

It's Another Mom Season Summer Plan!

Three weeks into my kids' summer break, I am finally getting familiar with the new paces and routines.  Every day is different.  Each week is new with camps or trips dotted throughout the calendar. So, I'm very casual.

But I know that the hour is looming...the clock will soon strike...OH MY GOSH WE HAVE GOT TO DO SOMETHING BEFORE WE DRIVE EACH OTHER CRAZY!

I'm not saying that the kids can't be bored sometimes.  I don't mean that we have to constantly keep them entertained every blessed minute.  But we can't really expect the kids to come up with the smartest ideas for filling a dozen hours on their own without some adult interaction.

Their first pick is usually screen time. Then they attempt risky experiments or stunts suggested by their very own genius imaginations. Those sweet faces will also constantly demand to know, "What are we doing today???"  And without some direction, the sibling harmony turns into terribly out-of-pitch cat screeching, when Mom doesn't have a surprise or two behind her back.

It's time to make a plan.  My son has already asked a few times when we were going to start our annual themed activity days, because he is so totally stoked that he doesn't have to do any school.  I get it.  I just haven't been on it yet, because we all just needed a break from schedules.  Until now. 

If you haven't been following, my Mom Season friends and I come up with rotating weekday themes that give us the general framework for fun activity planning that has lots of flexibility.  

Allowing for our personal skillsets and resources, we can use this plan to tailor-fit our families' favorite things to do. We don't all love crafts, and we don't all join the swim team. But we all want to make lasting memories and enjoy our time with the kids, don't we?

So this year, I compiled a free list of 72 activity ideas that I've either used in the past or plan to try this year.  If you sign up, you'll receive a PDF to download in your email.  The lists should get you through the next 12 weeks!  How's that for a Make-Something-Monday AWESOME?!?

Rest your weary brain, Momma, I've got you.

Share your own fun summer plans with us!

Comment below or share on Facebook and Instagram. 
#themomseasonsummer

How to Love Your Less than Ideal Summer

Today is the last day of school! We are so excited! But we are also terrified.

The month of May, with all of it's tests and projects, field trips and field days, award ceremonies, class parties and recitals, has brought us to our knees- hugging a street sign while the hurricane winds of activity blew our hairdos to pieces and smacked our faces with unexpected reminders. 

When I forgot to bake that platter of cookies and chip in for another teacher's gift, I knew I was beaten. 

Please, God, bring us the sun!

The busy storm has finally relented. And so today, we stand on wobbly limbs and face the aftermath. We look to tomorrow with much hope and expectation. We have survived another school year. We breathe relieved... and then, we hold in another breath as we survey the summer landscape.

NOW WHAT?

Our family will begin this summer with a trip to the mountains, and I will finally nail down any camp registrations I started to complete and never finished. I'll make tentative fun plans and then have a real talk with my ideal self:

Dearest Idealistic Momma,

You have been dreaming about slower, calmer mornings without lunch-packing and carpooling. 

But don't be surprised when THE KIDS WILL STILL WAKE UP EARLY, because in the summer, there is a much more exciting and motivating reason to leap out of their comforters: TV! iPads! Xbox!  "Woohoo! No school! We can do whatever we want!"

Also, the door-slamming will wake you up and THE CHILDREN WILL ARGUE before 7am. 

No one will make you coffee before you have to deal. It's all you. And then your kids will still be there. All. Day. Long. Without fail. 

You need a plan. 

But you also need a break. TAKE A BREAK, and don't feel guilty. If you don't, you may eat your own young and have even more regrets.

BE FLEXIBLE when you make your plans, because there will be hiccups- and not the cute ones- diaper blowouts, jellyfish stings, and milkshake spills in your freshly cleaned minivan. 

Sometimes, you'll just cancel said plans and call it "PJ Day."  That's okay too.

Life will not stop providing work just because it's the kids' summer vacation from school. Break the news lightly: there will be housecleaning and laundry and dishes and grocery trips. Our small charges can handle a lesson in responsibility. IT'S NOT ALL FUN AND GAMES. It's sweeping the floor too. 

GET EXTRA FOOD, because they will want more too eat when they're bored, and the neighbor's son will pretend like he wants to play, but he's really sniffing out your snack stash. 

You'll need proof that your days haven't been a complete wash. Make a calendar of plans and memories, because at some point (probably in 2 weeks), you'll start thinking that this is the worst summer ever and that no one is having a good time and that you are wasting precious days!!! Hang up your calendar for June, July, and August, then LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! Point to the evidence:

• You took the kids to the pool thirty times! 
• You made hand print molds, even though you hate arts and crafts! 
• You let the kids stay up late and catch fireflies or watch fireworks after the baseball game! 

Remembering the sweet successes re-charges your summer spirit. 

Lastly, and just for fun, START A COUNTDOWN CALENDAR for the first day of school. What?!? *cue evil laughter* No, but seriously. I did this secretly with a friend last summer, so that every time we were having a crazy bad day, it made us laugh. The kids won't appreciate it, obviously. 

But it gave me an end goal. You can make a countdown calendar for anything fun: date nights, girls' weekends, or family vacations. There's an app for that! This is just to remind yourself that there's something to look forward to when you’re getting a little battle-weary. There is a season for everything.

Finally, CALL YOUR FRIENDS. Don't just be your kids' social secretary. Be your own. It will keep you sane. 

Also, misery loves company. 

Happy first day of summer,

Realistic Momma

Learning to be Wild and Free

It's been exactly two years since I first heard Jess Connolly speak about being wild and free.  I remember taking all the notes and then going home to read and re-read John 10:10.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (NIV)."

"...I have come so they may have life. I want them to have it in the fullest possible way (NIRV)."

To be fully alive?  I wanted that!  But to enter into that kind of living, I needed to give myself permission to be fully who God made me to be. For myself, this means being creative, even when it doesn't bring me an extra income or a massive internet following.  It may not lead to a great career, but it brings me joy. It makes me come alive.

And I wonder if that is how we bring the light of Jesus into the world- by being fully alive.

"My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you’ve been given. You received Christ Jesus, the Master; now live him. You’re deeply rooted in him. You’re well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you’ve been taught. School’s out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving (MSG)."  -Colossians 2.6-7

On May 1, 2014, God used Jess Connolly to begin a spiritual work in me.  I return to that entry in my journal often, because the sweet truths unlocked my jail cell of a life living according to others' opinions.  That message empowers me, daily, to connect with Jesus in my own unique way.

Now, Jess, and her friend and Influence Network co-founder, Hayley Morgan, are sharing this song of freedom to everyone in their book, Wild and Free: A Hope-Filled Anthem for the Woman Who Feels She is Both Too Much and Never Enough. The title alone makes my heart leap! I joined the launch team and read the pages early, so I could selfishly renew what stirred in me two years ago.

Because for us to invite others to this freedom march, we have to believe it deeply ourselves.  We have to experience the goodness of God and how He sees us.

"And when you've tasted freedom? When you've walked away from defensive living, you can say good-bye to the heaviness of other's expectations. You can walk without crippling insecurity.  You can live with your imperfect self, knowing that you're covered in Christ (Morgan, chapter 12)."

Recently, I blogged about "Being Okay With Who I Am."  Settling our identity in Christ is what this book is similarly about.  While being "wild," is most likely not a term that we would classify as an acceptable female or Christian adjective, Jess and Hayley seek to redefine it as "unhindered by cultured norms (Connolly, chapter 9)." We have to stop looking around so much and comparing ourselves to others. We have to stop letting others determine how we should look or act or feel. Doesn't the Word tell us to "not conform to the pattern of this world (Romans 12:2)?" 

We can be wild when we fix our eyes on Jesus and what He thinks of us.  He knows what we're made of, and He loves us. Period.  Right from the start, our Creator said that we were "good (Genesis 1:31)." In all of our different shapes, personalities, talents, circumstances, pasts, and even in our sins or weaknesses- we are unconditionally loved and accepted by our God.  Remember that "if Christ is in you...You're as holy...as wild...as free...as loved by God as you'll ever be (Connolly, chapter 7)."

We aren't too much.  We don't need to be more or do more.
That's grace. And that's freedom. All we have to do is walk in these truths and live it out.

I strongly recommend that you read Jess and Hayley's new book. For yourself.  For your girlfriends. For your moms and your sisters.

WILD AND FREE  LANDED ON THE SHELVES TODAY!
You can order online or at most major bookstores (Amazon, Lifeway, Barnes and Noble, Christianbook, Books a Million, Faith Gateway).

www.wearewildandfree.com